shannonbui516

You ever meet someone unexpectedly and hit it off from the start? Then right at the most pivotal moment (the part where you’re suppose to be getting to know them the most) of your relationship, it abruptly twirls from the tips of your finger tips.

You met someone pretty great huh, then they move, leave, etc. How’s that going to work? Having recently been in a temporary LDR myself, I realized it’s a whole different ballgame from when I was with anyone before. Those moments when you go from a few phone calls, hanging out every other day, the laughs/ hugs you get often all dwindle to now daily phone calls, occasional skype chats, and here/ there hang outs. Although, this was temporary, I have learned some new things.

Keep your connection strong.

1. Agree on the expectations of the Relationship.

Do you guys talk everyday? A few times a day? You should clarify these things to reduce conflict and be considerate to one another.

2. Creative Conversations.

Ask questions, share ideas, feelings, small things about your day.

3. Video Chat.

Some people don’t see the importance in this. I have friends who are in a long distance relationship and they talk daily on skype. Others, don’t. I believe that it’s so important to talk daily and at the end of the day seeing someone’s face is helpful in staying close and reconnecting that temporary time apart.

4. Enjoy Independence.

Don’t stop trying to do new things. Having new experiences allows for you to share all the new stories with your significant other.

5. Having hard conflicts.

Being in an argument long distance really sucks. You can’t just turn over and hug them or give them reassurance. This actually causes someone to be easily disconnected. Especially when I’m sure the next time you avoid talking or saying everything, which causes more conflicts. Having hard talks, one should do on video or in person, text and phone calls will cause more issues.

6. Reconnecting after being apart.

Meeting after one comes home can be awkward, it’s like you feel as though they are some ghost now. It’s normal and not really a concern. You can overcome this.

7. Fears of Missing Out.

Seeing or hearing about what the other does is difficult. Allow them to be free. But sometimes, inviting them to do things can be helpful too. Don’t be selfish on adventure.

8. Patience.

This one is excruciating. In the midst of being stressed out or sad sometimes from missing them, you have to be patient at the same time. Which sucks,

9. 100%

This was a huge problem for me. I realized this hallway. How can I give 100% of myself to someone when I wasn’t happy? You sit there and observe everyone around you. They seem to be having perfect relationships. Even your friends around you who are dating guys from all over the US, can build it, so why couldn’t I? Well for starters, it takes two people. You must feel loved by the other being and you can’t feel loved by someone who isn’t happy in their life. The struggles to feel any kind of love is the lowest part, all you want is that reassurance that you don’t get. So you begin to spiral to feel that and this is when I say don’t do that. You are beautiful, loved, and if someone doesn’t see that then that sucks!

10. Communication

While LDR is a challenge, some people have great success at it. My friend is with someone who lives as far as South America. The most important key to making it work is communication. If you’re finding yourself feeling insecure, panicking, you go out and get that support. Life is hard, but if you choose to make it work, you have to communicate with your loved ones. The struggles you’re feeling in life can be helpful if you vented it out.

Lastly, through all of this, I have learned that no matter how hard the distance is, you must remember that the place or distance you are in isn’t always permanent. The intentions of being together is to grow together, so this distance you overcome will one day be over. We are all human, make mistakes, but we need to forgive and surpass this. To all my LDR lovers, I have mad respect for you. You are the toughest beings out there. Don’t fall short, I’m rooting for you all.

XOXO.

I’m someone who loves to make list. Although I may not cover the entire list, each year I make a list of some things I want to work on, sticky note it, put it on my wall to remind me of the things I want to accomplish this year. So, I’m sharing this list with you all. Let’s start this year off on the right note.

Learn Something New.

In college, I was a science major, but I also had the opportunity to take extra courses to learn other things. Being a part of a liberal arts college, allowed me to take many theology, philosophy, and dabble myself into other major’s. I had the chance to take classes such as Spanish and my last semester, I found my passion for computer programming. However, the past couple weeks since graduation, I’ve realized that I miss learning something just to better my brain, not because I was forced to. When I’m in school, I don’t have that much time to devote to other things besides the courses I’m enrolled in.

To fill this void, I’ve became obsessed with listening to podcast on my daily commutes, reading a good book, filling my brain with purpose.

Taking care of my health.

While being in school, I’ve definitely slacked in the eating healthy foods and making time to work out area. I was always off track or found myself making excuses. I know that if I take care of myself physically, I can make myself feel better. So one of my resolutions is to make it to the gym. I am starting out with three times a week and making it a goal to do cardio once a week.

I’m Enough.

Sometimes I take things for granted. I always question myself if I’m enough. I’ve always been the type of person who felt surrounded by so many smart, bright beings. I always felt the pressures to compare myself to my peers. I had doubt, and questioned if what I was doing was worth it anymore? Was I studying enough? Was I even smart enough? Am I doing the right things?

Then suddenly, I realized that I needed to stop comparing myself to these people. I needed to work hard, yes, but to succeed, I needed to do my best alone. But to key down that, the term “my” stood out. It was MY personal best. I shouldn’t compare and feel like I have to measure up to these people. Instead, I need to slow down and focus on myself. I need to have faith in my strengths and at the end of the day, things will always work out.

So stop worrying, stop comparing, and stop forcing yourself. Worry about your own self, do it for yourself, and have some faith. THIS IS ENOUGH. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

De- clutter.

By this, I mean that I need to de- clutter my brain, my closet, my life. I have so much “stuff”. Clothes, shoes, unnecessary information, and random notes. It’s crazy how much I have accumulated over the years. I don’t need clutter, I need clean. So this year, I want to simplify my things.

I’m starting by throwing away old notes, donating clothes that I haven’t worn lately, throwing away “junk” from my brain. I figure if I get rid of these things, I could fill these spaces with better. I know I’m a hoarder, but hopefully this will work.

Get serious about finances.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how important budgeting monthly is. I’ve definitely been guilty of blowing my bank account on things I don’t need and realizing that I have only a couple of dollars left.

So this year, I want to be better. I want to sit down monthly and budget how much money I’d need to fill categories (gas, groceries, clothes, restaurants, drinks, etc.) I would like to better keep track of my spending.

Here's my 5 main goals! 

xoxo!