shannonbui516

You ever meet someone unexpectedly and hit it off from the start? Then right at the most pivotal moment (the part where you’re suppose to be getting to know them the most) of your relationship, it abruptly twirls from the tips of your finger tips.

You met someone pretty great huh, then they move, leave, etc. How’s that going to work? Having recently been in a temporary LDR myself, I realized it’s a whole different ballgame from when I was with anyone before. Those moments when you go from a few phone calls, hanging out every other day, the laughs/ hugs you get often all dwindle to now daily phone calls, occasional skype chats, and here/ there hang outs. Although, this was temporary, I have learned some new things.

Keep your connection strong.

1. Agree on the expectations of the Relationship.

Do you guys talk everyday? A few times a day? You should clarify these things to reduce conflict and be considerate to one another.

2. Creative Conversations.

Ask questions, share ideas, feelings, small things about your day.

3. Video Chat.

Some people don’t see the importance in this. I have friends who are in a long distance relationship and they talk daily on skype. Others, don’t. I believe that it’s so important to talk daily and at the end of the day seeing someone’s face is helpful in staying close and reconnecting that temporary time apart.

4. Enjoy Independence.

Don’t stop trying to do new things. Having new experiences allows for you to share all the new stories with your significant other.

5. Having hard conflicts.

Being in an argument long distance really sucks. You can’t just turn over and hug them or give them reassurance. This actually causes someone to be easily disconnected. Especially when I’m sure the next time you avoid talking or saying everything, which causes more conflicts. Having hard talks, one should do on video or in person, text and phone calls will cause more issues.

6. Reconnecting after being apart.

Meeting after one comes home can be awkward, it’s like you feel as though they are some ghost now. It’s normal and not really a concern. You can overcome this.

7. Fears of Missing Out.

Seeing or hearing about what the other does is difficult. Allow them to be free. But sometimes, inviting them to do things can be helpful too. Don’t be selfish on adventure.

8. Patience.

This one is excruciating. In the midst of being stressed out or sad sometimes from missing them, you have to be patient at the same time. Which sucks,

9. 100%

This was a huge problem for me. I realized this hallway. How can I give 100% of myself to someone when I wasn’t happy? You sit there and observe everyone around you. They seem to be having perfect relationships. Even your friends around you who are dating guys from all over the US, can build it, so why couldn’t I? Well for starters, it takes two people. You must feel loved by the other being and you can’t feel loved by someone who isn’t happy in their life. The struggles to feel any kind of love is the lowest part, all you want is that reassurance that you don’t get. So you begin to spiral to feel that and this is when I say don’t do that. You are beautiful, loved, and if someone doesn’t see that then that sucks!

10. Communication

While LDR is a challenge, some people have great success at it. My friend is with someone who lives as far as South America. The most important key to making it work is communication. If you’re finding yourself feeling insecure, panicking, you go out and get that support. Life is hard, but if you choose to make it work, you have to communicate with your loved ones. The struggles you’re feeling in life can be helpful if you vented it out.

Lastly, through all of this, I have learned that no matter how hard the distance is, you must remember that the place or distance you are in isn’t always permanent. The intentions of being together is to grow together, so this distance you overcome will one day be over. We are all human, make mistakes, but we need to forgive and surpass this. To all my LDR lovers, I have mad respect for you. You are the toughest beings out there. Don’t fall short, I’m rooting for you all.

XOXO.